I’m not going to lie. This past weekend was a rough one. Andrew left Friday morning and will be returning today from a trip, so I was on my own with the boys. Which of course is always a pleasure– when I am solo parenting, I try to do extra special things with them and play more with them, read more to them, and act silly and goofy since there’s no one else around to spread the attention around, and plus, it is a bonding experience– but I am wiped out, mainly from lack of sleep, but also from a certain three-year-old’s wily behavior and two nasty cases of croup at night.
Oliver is having such a tough time right now. And the interesting thing is, he saves it all for the home front. At school, he is an absolute delight. In public, people fawn all over how cute and polite he is, squeezing his round little cheeks and complimenting him on his great dimples. But man, as soon as he is out of earshot, he really lets it go. All temper, and sometimes just really hurtful things. But he is three, which I have deemed the-worst-age-ever, and so I know his sweet, smart, caring personality is in there somewhere. You know, under all the irrational lashing out behavior. He’s just so darn angry all the time. Sigh.
But we did have fun… I took the boys to the Science Center and the Magic House, and even out for pizza by myself (the looks I got were of pure terror, but it went really well!). But nighttime proved a real challenge. Oliver and Emil both developed what Milo coined the kazoo cough, which is croup. They were up all night Friday and Saturday barking like sea lions and crying and even vomiting from coughing so hard. But I was an attentive, if not weary, parent, of course, staying up past 2am with Oliver and throwing a load of laundry in the wash after Oliver and Emil threw up all over themselves and their beds, and reviewed this more than once because even though we’ve been through it before, croup freaks me out because it involves labored breathing and wheezing and terrible noises. Though scary and unpleasant, they were alright. I on the other hand…
… am just utterly wiped out! Milo, feeling great and sleeping through the hellish disaster, awoke at his usual 5:30am, so I was also up and at ’em pretty early every morning! It’s truly amazing how much energy it takes to care for, feed, calm down, and keep safe three little ones so young. They can be so needy and vulnerable and there were a couple of instances where I realized I had accidentally skipped a meal just from taking care of everyone else– wiping bottoms and cooking and consoling and cleaning up and sitting with one child or another on my lap in the bathroom with the hot water running, and changing clothes and bathing and and and… you know. This parenting thing can be tough stuff, no?
I am ever-grateful for that amazing partner of mine. Without him I would surely be off my rocker by now! They are a fun bunch, though. And I know one day I will look back fondly and laugh about the craziness, and surely miss it so much (the being needed part, not the croup!). Perspective.
Oh wow! Three on your own? Sounds like you were working your magic mom powers. Sounds like you deserve an award!! Parenting is hard enough with one… but 3? Your boys don’t know how lucky they are to have such a loving mother.
Ugh. I wish I lived nearby. (How often do I say that?) I’d be there to help in a snap. Also to join the shenanigans. Those museums look amazing!
What you’re doing is so hard. Rewarding, yes, but exhausting on so many levels. I really understand and wish I could give you a commiserating hug. (I also have an angry three year old and have dealt with many scary bouts of croup: cold air and steam are really the only remedies.)
Know this: You’re an amazing mom.
Sending love — xx
Croup is so scary. As are three year olds, now that I think about it. And a three year old with the croup? Nightmare.
I am sending rejuvenating and energizing vibes through the internet to you, because you have earned them.
Oh mama! Croup is scary. And then with the throwing up, you deserve a medal. It’s tough when our partners are gone- Brian is gone a lot with the Army and on a normal day makes it home right at bedtime. It sounds like you fit a lot of fun into the weekend despite the sickies!
Well you survived… and managed to go to the museum and even bring your camera which is impressive on its own. I can’t imagine the juggling required with three little ones, but you are amazing and always pull it off. Hope you can get a bit of a break today and some extra sleep!
What a weekend to be on your own! Croup is so scary, my nephews have been hospitalized with it so whenever it hits our household, i worry it might mean a trip to the e.r.! I hope you get many moments of rest, maybe even a nap.
Solo parenting is never easy (I struggle and I have one baby!) let alone with puke and croup in the mix! I think you deserve a very large glass of wine this evening, well done mama 🙂
Lauren! I am in complete agreement! 3 is a rough age, and Oliver was Jackson! He is an angel for everyone else, but as soon as it is just me (or Frank) forget it…..Thank goodness 4 is only a week away for us! Kudos to you for always staying mindful. You are such a good Mama!
“It’s truly amazing how much energy it takes to care for, feed, calm down, and keep safe three little ones so young.”…. Well said Lauren!!! I hope you are able to take some guilt free “me time” to re-energize yourself! The focus being, guilt free!!! I know I struggle with that. Sending healthy vibes your way…
I am in awe of your mothering. So many public outings and fun stuff planned for a weekend without a partner. You’re my freaking hero. I hope their coughs have gotten better, croup is a scary thing. The cough sounds not-human.
Also, I’m in the midst of a detailed post about my 5 year old acting similarly to Oliver. I think I just said those words to Jason last night, “She’s just so angry all the time.” You’re not alone. XOXOX.
Phew! Sorry about a tough, tough weekend! If you need a laugh on the trials of parenting, watch Bill Cosby “Himself”…I had seen it before, but haven’t watched it since having kids. After a rough weekend with behavioral issues, Jame and I sat down and watched it together last night. Perfect comic relief! Parenting is HARD!
We are so there with the 3-year-old right now, too. Did you catch this article on why they’re so insane? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/27/tantrums-toddlers_n_2774399.html
On the positive (?) side, at least he feels safe and comfortable enough to express his true feelings (even if they are sometimes hurtful – been there recently too) at home. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
Oh my gosh…I can totally relate to the appreciation you feel towards your partner! I only have one baby, 10 months old, but when my husband was out of town for 6 days last week I really missed him! Especially all of the “man” things he does around the house, for example, I had to fish three dead gold fish out of our pond, I stepped on a dead mouse while taking out the garbage, I retrieved a scorpion out of the shower, and my sweet baby got her first fever too. I remember halfway through the week I was telling him about the fish and I said that the first one died about 10 days ago…he was like…I’ve only been gone for 5…I swear these past 6 days felt like a lifetime!! Got to love those great daddies! Hang in there lady…you’re doing a great job!
this is darling 🙂 your blog is too cute!
On one of the parenting FB groups, I saw a thread about partners/parents not helping and there were SO MANY (50+) responses saying the mothers pretty much did everything themselves. It was scary and disheartening to imagine that, raising children with an absent, yet present partner. Just the idea of that alone was enough perspective for me, and I don’t have children yet!
And I love Oliver’s cheeks. I hope it gets better.
Holy monkeys, man. That sounds exhausting. You’re such an attentive mom. Such a great idea taking them out to do stuff. I think my first inclination would be to mope around and let them watch tv all day, but that makes it so much worse. Getting them out and burning off some energy passes the time and makes you feel less tired. Plus, there’s always getting jacked up on coffee to help out.
Have you considered feeding Oliver coffee and Red Bull? I have heard the parabolic effect kicks in when you dose them extra high on caffeine, and they just end up falling asleep and being mellow instead of getting more crazy. (Totally kidding. Don’t call the cops on me. 🙂 )
Hahahaha! Allison, I have considered Benadryl. Then I realized that would make me a mom who drugs my kid to make him sleep. And you know, with my history and all, not such a good idea. 🙂
It’s totally the terrible THREES not the terrible twos, right? I totally agree. This age can be especially hard because they’re really in-between being a toddler/dependent in a lot of ways mixed in with the will and stubborn determination of a pre-schooler.
A good friend and mother of four once told me that the “magic” age is 4 – when it all changes for the better. Fingers crossed! 🙂
xo
cortnie