I consider myself a very lucky mama in the sense that breastfeeding each of my babies came very easily and naturally. Of course, there was the occasional hitch, but nothing that required outside help or even much adjustment. On the contrary, it seemed that most of my problems came from being a little too good at the job: none of my babies ever took to a bottle (despite following all the “rules” about introducing one early on), making it difficult to leave them for more than a few hours at a time. But as my days of breastfeeding dwindle, I can honestly say that I would not have done it differently. The time flew by, and having a baby attached to my hip (or within my belly) for the better part of the past 6 years has been nothing short of amazing.
I chose to breastfeed on demand, often offering the breast as much for comfort as for nourishment. With each baby, nightly wake-ups were many. Nursing to sleep was common, and I often had a baby in bed with me, curled to my chest, breath warm against my skin. Andrew was kicked out of his own bed more times than he probably would have liked, poor guy. But it flew by, really it did.
Emil is 16 months and down to breastfeeding about twice a day. Trust me, if it were up to him, he would still be nursing every hour! But leading up to my surgery, Andrew and I discussed that the best plan would be to wean or nearly wean him so that others could help in his care, and I could rest and recuperate properly.
I had originally planned to nurse Emil all the way until his second birthday, but the surgery made me reconsider (doctors said I would need to refrain from breastfeeding for 24 hours after the surgery to avoid passing on any unpleasant drugs from anesthesia). So, plans change and I am happy with the experience. There is, of course, a part of me that is mourning this stage coming to an end. It has been such a wonderful way to be close and establish trust. So yes, I will miss breastfeeding. But Emil is also showing me that he is ready for the next stage. Just recently, in the middle of the night, after I gently told him “No more milkie. It’s time to go to sleep,” he cupped my face in his little hands, leaned in, and gave me the biggest, loudest smooch right on my mouth. Then he leaned toward his crib and let me tuck him in without the slightest objection.
Yes, I think hugs and kisses will do the trick.
P.S.- Thanks for your kind words– I’m still feeling pretty sore, but hopefully after a restful weekend I will be closer to normal. Happy Friday!
Lauren, I was/am so often envious of you and your ease with nursing your children. That loving, cuddly relationship you describe, that feeling of pivotal importance in the lives of those small creatures. You know my experience was vastly different; painful, emotional, mechanical and brief. I can tell you the trade off for me at least has been that ability to spread the love around, giving me a break when I need it. There are countless other ways to have that closeness with your children, which you already know. Mourning this end is completely natural and each end is a new beginning. Emil understands and will likely mourn, too. You both needed to give each other permission to move on to the next thing. Maybe it will be sleeping. 🙂
That picture is beautiful. It’s such a tough thing that transition. Of course you did an amazing job and were fortunate to have such a wonderful experience. it sounds like you are handling the change well.
We just barely made it to 18 months and I never had to refuse, I just got rejected more and more until he was done. Like you, I think I’d have gone until around 2, but looking back I’m grateful Wyatt made it such a graceful process. At first I was sad, and then I was surprised by the feelings of independence and joy that came. Motherhood in general is such a confusing jumble of conflicting emotions, but after three babies and extended nursing back to back to back… I’d say you have it under control!
It’s such a special, sweet kind of heartbreak when they wean. I was so sad to let it go, but like your Emil, my little guy showed me that he was ready and that made all the difference. Aren’t they amazing that way?! I hope you have a restful, happy weekend!
I thought I was finished with the sadness that came along with weaning Alice but then I had a dream last night that I was still producing milk and, in my dream I thought, “I’ll just start breastfeeding Alice again!” Obviously somewhere in my brain that longing to be that comfort and foods-source for my baby still exists.
Hope the transition is smooth for you both!
So long as I offered it Gus would always wean but as soon as I went to strictly on demand he weaned himself in a matter of days. At the time I was so grateful to have my body back but there are still some days now that I think maybe I should have held on a bit longer and get a bit sad that I was so ready to stop. I had a weird interaction with a mom at a coffee shop in the late summer that made me feel like I should have at least nursed Gus until two (basically because that’s what she was doing and she was little bit holier than thou). And, I think it doesn’t help that I worry Gus will be my only baby and I didn’t think about that when I said goodbye to nursing. Who knew I would like nursing that much? Lilly is so right…being a mom comes with so many conflicting emotions. Good luck with this new chapter…maybe it will be a sleeping chapter indeed! Hope you’re resting and feeling better. Abdominal surgery is no joke.
I always thought the emotions that surrounded weaning were so complex. Bittersweet, I guess.
I’m glad you’re feeling better. That’s one heck of a scar, mama. But, as many of your other readers said, I don’t think your bikini days are over.
When do you think you’ll wean Andrew?
awww that is just SO sweet 🙂 I emailed you before I read about your surgery – now I REALLY hope you have a super relaxing and healing weekend! xoxo
Oh weaning….I am still breast feeding Harrison (only at night), but I am ready to wean. I love how sweetly you were able to do that with your baby.
Hope you are continuing to heal well!
What a sweet little dude, that Emil! It’s so great when you can sense that your kids are ready for a transition – it’s often easier for them than us! I’m glad you had such a great bonding experience with all of your boys.
And glad you’re feeling a bit better!
xo
cortnie
thanks for sharing this bittersweet part of your mothering experience. your little man seems like such a little lover.
This totally choked me up! I love nursing older babies so much. 🙂 It is so sweet (and occasionally hysterical!) Glad your plan seems to be working out well. I fear I may have to encourage Rho to wean sometime soon also due to medical reasons, and I am so worried about it. It helps to hear stories in which the children successfully found a new way to express their connection with their mama. 🙂