We have some really tired pups around here! After a week of just general dissatisfaction with everything in the world, Oliver hit an all-time high of displeasure this weekend. Here is a series of basically word-for-word conversations with the tortured young man:
Oliver: Mama, I want to wear my “pactain (captain) Amewica” costume.
Mama: Alright. Here it is. (I put the costume on him)
Oliver: NOOOOOO!!!! I don’t want this shewt (shirt) on underneeeeffff!
Mama: Alright, let’s take off that shirt. (Takes the shirt off and fastens costume)
Oliver: (rolling around on the ground with a pained look on his face) NOOOO! NOT LIKE DIS!
Mama: Would you like to wear something else underneath your costume?
Oliver: YES! Pajamas. I want to weaw my awigatow (alligator) pajamas.
Mama: (Goes into his room, brings him the alligator pj’s, attempts to help him get the costume off to put the pajamas on)
Oliver: I DON’T WANT THOSE PANTS! (they are the pants of the alligator pajamas)
Mama: Okay, which pants would you like?
Oliver: OOOOOOOOOO-AAAAAAAAHHHHH! (screaming, crying, rolling, carrying on)
Mama: Lunch is ready! (sets down a grilled cheese sandwich, apple slices, and almonds
Oliver: NOOOOOO! I wanted tricky triangles!!!! (sometimes I cut his sandwich into triangles but oh, no, not this time)
Mama: Oh, sorry buddy! Well next time we’ll be sure to cut those triangles. But look! You can make these rectangles into a grilled cheese robot!
Oliver: OOOOOOOO-AAAAAHHHHHHH! I don’t YIKE wo-bots! I’m NOT eatin’ dis!
(He sat there, crying into his plate for the duration of lunch while I took deep breaths in the other room)
Bedtime… in fact, every bedtime for the past 5 days:
Oliver (screaming): I’M HUNGWEEEE! I NEED WATER! TUCK ME IN! NOT YIKE DAT! I WANT A BOOK IN MY BED! I WANT OATMEEEEEEAL! I WANT A TOY IN MY BED! I NEED MY BWANKET OVER MY HEAD!
I mean, really. He cried and screamed and carried on like that for 90 minutes straight on Saturday night. And it’s not like we were just ignoring the kid (though it did get to that point after so much trying to no avail). He just doesn’t know what he wants, is generally feeling mistreated and misunderstood, and nothing makes him happy– not even fulfilling his own requests. I mean, geez. Who knew bedtime/dinnertime/dress-up time could become such a hellish time for a three-year-old?
At least last night was better.
In other news, Andrew is going through a really busy time work-wise, and is also training for the Philadelphia marathon in a few weeks. Busy! Oh! And yesterday, while Andrew was writing and I was cooking dinner, Emil got really quiet. Yeah. No worries. He was just hanging out in the fireplace.
But LOOK what he found! A lump of charcoal!
Good things that slipped into our crappy weekend? Andrew having a sip of scotch and playing the kids’ mini-guitar…
Brussels sprouts before baking (and burning– yeah, Pinterest. Suck it. Roasting anything at 450 degrees for 30 minutes will turn it black. Thanks for that.)
Milo decorated our entire house for Halloween, though! So dead bodies and bones and tombstones are hanging out in our yard, at least. Oy. Next weekend will be better, right?
It sounds like you maybe needed that sip of scotch! But your recap of conversations with him had my laughing. I can just imagine it in a whiny 3 year old’s voice!
And I’ve had a few Pinterest fails. Greek yogurt chicken with bread crumbs? Not crunchy and delicious goodness. Mushy and tangy mess more like it. 😉
Yowch. Sounds like Milo, Andrew and Scotch might be your ports in that perfect storm. Suck it, pinterest. Word.
p.s. I cannot add before 8am and while taking cough medicine. Humiliated by your spam protection.
I will forever maintain that the “terrible twos” have nothing on three year olds. Every time one of my offspring turned three, it was the longest year of my life. Seriously.
Hang in there and take a break as often as you can.
Oh, man, I know! Two was nothing compared to three! And I have met so many mamas who have told me the same! Yikes.
Gus is SO on the same page. Everything is wrong. EVERYTHING!! And why am I not fixing it? And if three is harder than two.. I just don’t know. At least he’s cute while displeased!
Oliver sounds like a typical 3 year old to me! Can’t please them some days.
Hope the Philly Marathon goes well for Andrew. I ran that one 12 years ago. (Wow that seems weird to write). I wasn’t a big fan of that marathon, there were large stretches with on one cheering, and we ran by the art museum 3 times.
Angsty Oliver! I’m on a countdown…only about 40 days left of the threes for my angsty dude. 4 is better. 5 is bliss, in my opinion.
My Malcolm just turned three on Sept. 23rd and, already, he is acting exactly like Oliver! The wanting one thing, but then not wanting it, but still really wanting it, and not wanting it all at once is really exhausting … He cried the other day because he wanted his socks on, but wanted bare feet at the same time??!! I feel your pain!! 😉
Ah, the 3’s are soooo much fun! Avery taught me very early on that I needed to let her choose *everything* or I shouldn’t even bother trying. Worked great for a while; now that she’s got a baby brother coming she’s gotten whinier. But 4 is right around the corner so I’m trying to stay optimistic. Hopefully Oliver will see how Milo behaves and get through this phase quickly!
hahaha! oh my gosh, you are too funny! “suck it pinterest” i’m still laughing over that! oh three year olds… a tortured life they live! what a fun post (for us readers at least. i know actually being there and listening to all the crying and fits sucks but hey, i’ve been there and can totally sympathize.) i hope life turns around for your little fella 😀
p.s.- love your new header!
Oh, Oliver!! Three is hard. Everyone told me the two’s would be the worst, but Julian was by far his most beastly at 3. I have to say though, “tricky triangles” cracked me up. And Emil hanging out in the fireplace! HA!!! Oh, man. Kids are such a pain in the ass, but are so wonderful at the same time.
We play our kids’ guitar a lot too! We have a baby Yamaha and it gets such a nice tinkly high sound. When we saw Brandi Carlile in concert, we noticed that she played around on the same baby Yamaha that we have. It’s cool to see a “real” musician validate a kids’ instrument. Heh.
Dood. Give the brussels sprouts another try with roasting, but don’t go so high with the heat. 350 – 375 is the range I’d keep it in. We roast them all the time with olive oil and sea salt that way, and they turn out perfect. Pinterest is a jerk in that it has awesome ideas that are hugely misleading. Like the pallet garden of failure.
Also? I totally had to see a therapist when Julian was 3 because I hated him so much. I’m not even kidding. Vote for me, Mom of the Year!!!
I keep hearing this rumor that three is harder than two and it has me shaking in my boots! I love your descriptions though, and I totally have those days myself where nothing is quite right and I’m just plain grumpy, usually I have the decency to fake it but it would be nice to be three and just whine to my heart’s content 🙂
Also, Wyatt has been found in the fireplace. He was just standing on the inside of the screen checking things out. Of course all my playdate mother’s who were shocked at my lack of babyproofing and have gate quarantined fireplaces don’t know that- so don’t tell them!
Ha! Allison, you are giving me such a chuckle. And yeah, I did a double-take with the directions on the brussels sprouts because I have made them before exactly how you just described, so I was astounded at the suggestion of 450. But, you know, I just went along with it. Bastards.
Oh geez. If Greta is any more strong-willed/ STRAIGHT CRAZY at 3 than she is at 2 1/2 I am in for some trouble!
So totally there with you. Apparently (so I’ve read), the “reason” part of the brain that tells the “emotion” part of the brain that everything is OK and to be rational literally is NOT connected yet (as in the synapses aren’t formed) in young children. That happens in the 3rd year, when the two parts of the brain begin to communicate more effectively. Hence the irrational insanity leading up to that point. Plus the developmental need to discover their independence. I find myself doing a lot of deep meditative breathing as well… also the book The Whole Brain Child really helped me understand him, and it also has parenting tips. 🙂