You know that saying about how kids are all different, yada, yada, yada… well, whoever coined that phrase sure was wise. Or just eye-rollingly obvious.
But when you have kids, you can’t help but compare them. First, you compare your baby to other babies. I can say that as a first-time parent with Milo, I was generally shocked at what he was doing at an early age (and okay, I’ll admit, a little proud too). Then, when you have another kid, you tend to compare him/her to the first kid. I think it’s basically a way of checking in. You compare to make sure your child is okay developmentally and if things are too off or too different, it can raise a red flag for developmental delays or even something as huge as autism. I know we are social creatures, so we notice these minute differences in other people, which carries over to other people’s kids. I believe it’s just part of being highly-social and complex creatures.
I think we have to be so careful not to compare your own children in a judgmental way, though. I mean, obviously. We don’t want to place higher value on traits that one child may have that another doesn’t, or hasn’t revealed yet. I’m talking about setting up an atmosphere for competition within the home. I want our boys to be on the same team, not pit them against each other. But I have to say, both Andrew and I do try to instill these traits pretty regularly in all three boys: persistence and perseverance (this may also be why Emil has a black eye and several facial lacerations in the following photos– rest assured that he obtained these injuries from simple bumps and falls around the house, not off of high playground equipment).
Trying it out by himself with pop nearby…
Then all by his lonesome!
And I think it’s working. For the most part, these guys are try-ers. They try and try and try again and again until they do that thing they wanted to do. This can be infuriating when that something involves removing trash from the trash can, but so exciting when it is something like going down the slide at the playground feet first all by himself! Yippeeeeeee, Emil! Way to go, big stuff!
… or learning to kick the ball!
And the older boys; Oliver with his art– practicing drawing and cutting with real scissors and painting that T-Rex that he promised for Papa; Milo with his climbing and two-wheeler riding and just recently, basketball! Trying and trying and trying!
***P.S.- He made that shot!***
***P.P.S.– He did not.***
Keep trying, guys. I just love you more for it.
Check back later today for a great crock pot recipe!
Oh that little elf man has gotten so big! Haven’t you figured out how to keep em little yet?
I think this is such an important trait. For much of my life I was afraid to try new things because I had this mistaken belief that I had to be the best at whatever I did. It robbed me of experiencing many new things. Continue to teach them that the trying is the important part, not the actual doing.
That smile on Emil’s face as he is going down the slide is too much! Those dimples! You guys make adorable kids.
I think it is so important to teach your kids to try to do things for themselves (and not interfere!). I think it instills self-confidence and determination.
So funny about the comparing babies to others. Alice and I had a play date yesterday and some of the moms were totally one-upping each other on what their babies can do. Before I had Alice, I had no idea just how competitive mommies are!
Emil’s smile is PRICELESS!! Pure joy! Great post- well done, Knights!
It is so hard not to compare, but it’s also really useless (unless of course something is actually wrong) because all of them are so different. I agree that determination is very important… Wyatt gets so frustrated when he can’t make something go his way so we’re working on that!