I don’t usually post on Saturdays. Heck, lately I’ve even dropped Fridays. It has something to do with spending some more time doing other things I love, trapeze class (with Andrew!) among them. The evenings, time I usually dedicate to blogging, have been filled with some good down time with less computer and more lying around talking and listening to Andrew play guitar. It’s been really good. But that’s another story.
Yesterday.
Oh, what a crappy day! I have to share the hilarious disaster that was Friday. It’s never anything big, but all the small mishaps that seem to add up over the day and eventually leave me in a stupid heap of sobbing mess on the floor while Milo pats my back and assures me, “I know how you feel, Mama.”
It’s things like Emil not napping for the 4th day in a row. I gird myself and tell myself, You are the parent and you are responsible for making rules and sticking with them. And ha, that is the first mistake. Not the making rules part, but the assuming that I can control others’ behavior. Others being Emil. He is in that sticky spot where he still needs a nap but fiercely resists them until we have been battling for two hours straight, me with my ass completely asleep as I strain against his door to keep him in. I try to read and breathe and stay centered, but the older two are wrestling in the next room and knocking over a glass of water right next to the fan and I’m picturing two electrocuted boys and running to the spilled water and yanking the plug out and Emil has sensed my weakness and is out of his room again.
The gentle parenting approach has gone out the window as I enter his room for the umpteenth time to place him back into his bed without a word, without an expression on my face, all robot resignation and zero patient hero. It is all in vain, really. He wins, as two hours of screaming and fighting and flailing and spilled water and near-broken lamp are when I call it quits. I think he knows. That he waits me out, a little clock in his brain counting down the minutes until he is free again. I would give in, stop trying, but every day without a nap brings unprecedented naughtiness. He is so exhausted that he stops caring about consequences or the people he loves or rules or making any sort of sense at all.
And so, after two hours of fighting, I let him out. I let him out so he could immediately slap me in the stomach and run into the room where I had folded all the laundry. So he could throw what took me an hour to fold, in-between rounds of holding his door closed and tearing his brothers off each other, across the room and into a different puddle of water I hadn’t noticed before. And yes, now the dog is barking outside like a maniac because I forgot to let her back in and it’s raining. So she’s muddy.
Cue tears.
It was just one of those days. Today, we’re skipping the nap.
Have a good weekend.
And I thought I was the only parent who had to park myself in front of my child’s door at nap time and now bedtime. The last 2 weeks have looked so similar for us and I’m usually in tears, giving in to no nap. These little guys are persistent aren’t they? Hang in there mama! You are doing a great job. And thanks for sharing this story. Sometimes it’s good to know I am not alone;)
Oh (little) man! What a hard hard day. I hope the both of you get in some down time and big boys to boot. You’re doing a wonderful job trying your best to stick to it, even though one can’t always. Here’s to better days!
We’ve all been there! Sounds like you’ve got a strong-willed one on your hands. Me too.
I love that Milo shows you such empathy.
I relate and empathize with this way too much. It’s been an intense summer over here in these parts, and more often that not Alex has returned home to find the boys having Oreos for dinner while juggling knives, without pants and playing with matches while I am catatonic in the corner. Stay at home parenting is HARD. We are all looking forward to the structure that school will provide in a few weeks, the break it will afford me to think throu a complete thought and the new experiences in friends and teachers they so desperately need. It really does take a village. That said, you’re one of the best at what you do. Stay strong!
No nap days are the worst! Get a big glass of wine… That helps everything!
Oh lord. I have those days and I only have one child. Keep on keeping on, even when you’re at your wits end. Love and light from San Diego.
Thanks, Lauren, for openly sharing the joys and sorrows of being a mother – it really does help to know that there are people out there going through the exact same things, feeling the exact same way. You’re doing a great job with your three boys.