NewBaby Update

So I know I promised an update about NewBaby last week, but there was really nothing to report, so I decided to wait until I had another appointment in case there was any breaking news… and after this morning’s appointment, I can say with confidence that NewBaby is…

still cooking.

Basically, the midwife told me that the baby is ready to come at any time, but could decide to stay in there for another 3 weeks if he wants to. Given how I have been feeling (nauseous, exhausted, sore, contraction-ridden, etc.) I would say he is coming sooner than later. Of course, saying that ensures that I will be pregnant forever. For those of you who want details, I am 1 cm dilated, cervix is soft, baby is -1 station, and apparantly I have a very “interesting” pelvis for childbirth. I asked the midwife to elaborate, and she said “there is not much to your pelvis- it is very short. That’s probably why your first baby came so fast.” She also went on to say that pretty much any pressure from this baby’s head will dilate me quickly, so when I do go into labor, everyone is expecting him to come flying out. This really freaks me out, I have to say. But hey, the faster the childbirth, the sooner I get to meet this new baby Knight child. And maybe it’s like the bandaid theory: rip it off quickly and it’s over so fast you don’t even have time to dwell on that sting. Yeah, right. Bandaid… childbirth…. bandaid… childbirth.

The one thing I do have to work on is gaining weight. I have still only managed 24 pounds this time around, despite feeling like I am stuffing my face. This may be the only time in my life when I will be ordered by professionals to drink whole milk milkshakes and add peanut butter (?!) to my cereal in the morning. I was also told by my birth assistant that I am eating “too clean,” meaning healthy (?) but I would beg to differ. Chocolate milk is a staple right now, along with ice cream and pb&j sandwiches for breakfast. I also upped the red meat factor, despite feeling like I am going to upchuck when I eat beef.

Also weird? My blood pressure. So low I could be considered dead at 85 /50. No wonder I am nauseous and light-headed! So how does one RAISE blood pressure? Should I try to get really mad a few times a day?

So my prescription? Eat ridiculous amounts of unhealthy food, lay around and watch movies all day, stop cleaning the house (I really liked this one), and basically do nothing except feed my gullet until the baby comes. The midwife looked into my eyes with a very serious expression on her face and said, “Really, don’t be burning up calories at the expense of the growth of your baby.” Yikes! All of this sounds like utter bliss to me, except for the fact that I have the most active twenty-three-month-old EVER (seriously, he walked/ran over 3 miles the other day- I clocked it), no maid or cook, and a husband who is working his butt off so he can take time off after the baby comes.

So… aside from watching “The Wiggles” 20 hours a day while Milo’s brain turns to mush and we both turn into zombies while the house disintegrates into a ball of dog fur, dirt, leaves, dirty laundry, dirty dishes, and food crumbs from our hypothetical junk food binge, I’m not quite sure how to make all this happen. Oh, and who will bring me my milkshakes? Surely I shouldn’t get off the couch to stand in front of a blender.

Well, I’m off to stuff my face.